Sunday, 21 October 2007

fucker

i have been long time never blog.
i dunno why today i have the mood to writing blog here.
just scolded by the fucker, ok, he is damn shit. last week like that, this week also like that. hell, im gonna die, who come and safe me?
yesterday was a very nice and happy day for me. i've been to a very new experience with him. is real sweet, i admit.
and today, i was in a half bad mood, i think. its so tough for being the eldest. always the unfair 1, and the guinea pig.
the one who took as the experiment, no this and no that. damn confirm, feel doubt? go and ask ur sister and brother.
is so fucking unfair unfair!!!!
final coming very soon, im kinda stress thought. but i really need to study. hmmm..
i got many plan, many thoughts in my mind, but i just how to arrange it, which come first, which come then. argh... confusing.. i wish that i got good tempered or maybe a bit stupid or dumb, or his is not here. then i might not that stress. i was thinking when i will become mad, or realy got the courage to fight him back, maybe when i realy got my financial support. he is just lucky. i bet. what he gave me and he got back is what he deserve. hell...
i will know what is my plan in the future, not far, and he will know what is my plan either.
oh god, i wish u can right here, i realy need ur hug. but i don wan u to be the victim either. i will just protect u, but end up that i might cant meet u. do u still willing to lend me ur hand?
it is a very big risk thought.
will u still right by my side, lend me ur shoulder and bring me away?